If you only have time to read one thing today, please skip my blog and read this article from Tiara Darnell published by Portland Monthly Magazine.
I spend a lot of time thinking and a lot of time thinking about how I am thinking. I can easily get lost inside my brain. While I enjoy most aspects of being an introspective person, sometimes it can be to my detriment. These days, there is a lot more time alone to think and a lot more to worry about.
The thoughts tend to come in and stay for a long time. They take shifts. When I get a break from one worry a frustration will take its place then a loneliness seeps in. Some days I feel like the thoughts will not let up. The thoughts take over in a way that feels physical, as if I am less on the earth and more deep inside myself. I expect people looking at me to see a fuzzier version. This is how it feels when I am in my head.
The best solution to get out of my head is to get into my body. And the best way to get into my body is to make it work hard.
I often turn to running. When I start running, I still have all the thoughts rattling around inside my head. It is as though the physical act of running starts to jostle them a bit more. One at a time, they get addressed and then released, left behind as I run down the path. Some of the thoughts take a bit longer to let go or require a bit more mulling and processing, but eventually I have cleared my mind and can focus on my body. The faster and harder I run, the easier it is to let everything else go.
But I recently found an even better way to evict my mind of unwanted thoughts. A month ago I started riding my bike to work a couple times per week. The bike route has two parts: across town and uphill. When I am riding across town I have to be on high alert for cars and signals. There is no time to get lost in my brain. All of my thinking energy focuses on safety and efficiency.
Once I am across town I have to go up.
We are talking 800 feet in 3 miles; an almost constant 5% grade. If that does not mean anything to you, take my word for it, it is hard.
I got it in my mind that I should ride to work once I realized that it had been six weeks of not having to drive kids anywhere, with no sign of that changing, and the weather was starting to get very nice. On top of that, the roads are much less crowded these days. But when I made the decision to try, I did not actually know if I could do it. Would I make it up the hill?
I did! And I have every time since. It is still hard. Yesterday my hamstrings were yelling at me to please stop for the entire climb.
Although it is still not easy, I look forward to that challenge in an unexpected way. When my body is working that hard, I do not have time to think and I get at least a temporary break from my brain.
These days, the best break I can ask for is a chance to make my body do the work.